Kim Possible Porn Story: When Evil Food Processors Attack Chapter 1

Tiger: This is a one-shot I had to write after
something similar happened to my little brother while he was trying
to chop lettuce for tacos, Ill explain at the end. This isnt
exactly a sequel to Just Another Mission, Right? But I guess it could
beeither way its Kim Possible and Kigo.

Disclaimer: I dont own Kim Possible, Disney
does. (If I did, do you think Ron would have ended up with Kim?). I
also dont own the show Cook Yourself Thin, The Lifetime channel,
or the Barefoot Contessa, who all get shout outs in this ficlet!

Shego sighed as she
entered the door of the condo she and Kim shared, some groceries in
hand. She sniffed the air and smelled something spicy wafting through
the condo.

Hey, Shego! The
teen-hero called from the kitchen. Shego peeked in and saw her lover
was preparing some healthy tacos, something she insisted on doing
after she saw it on some Lifetime cooking channel about cooking good
food and being thin. Shego didnt care enough to remember the name.

You havent
burned anything yet, have you? The older woman asked. Kim gave
Shego a death glare.

How did you know?

Stevie told me
while I was Miss. Go. Apparently you werent the best at Home Ec.,
plus youve been taking lessons with Ron. He also told me.

I havent burned
anything. My cooking lessons with Ron have paid off. Kim replied,
sticking her tongue out.

Sexy. Shego
sarcastically replied, causing the teen hero to giggle. Shego put up
the groceries and turned to Kim.

Pumpkin, do you
need any help? Shego asked.

Nope. I just need
to cut up some lettuce and Ill be done. Kim happily replied.
Shego nodded before leaving the kitchen to relax in their living
room. The plasma-powered woman sat down on her comfy-chair and
started reading a couple of magazines. She heard a loud whirring
noise coming from the kitchen, placing the sound as the food
processor. The sound would stop and then go again, meaning Kim was
using it on the Pulse setting. Shego continued reading her magazine,
not thinking anything of the loud noise. She then heard it stop
again, and Kim mumbling something to herself. The teen hero then
turned it onto the ON setting, Shego knowing this because it was now
a continuous whir, letting whoever was using it to do other stuff.
Again, Shego didnt think anything of ituntil she heard Kims
voice over the loud machine.

Ah! Dont do
that! She heard the teen hero cry.

She has it under
controlshes Kim Possible. Shego silently concluded and
continued reading.

No, no, no! Dont
go that way! Kim cried. Shego turned her head to the direction of
the kitchen and under the whirring of the machine, heard a sound like
rubber stops being dragged across a hard surface. Shego was about to
stand up to see if she could help, and then she heard a loud scream
and then a loud crash. The green-hued woman burst from her chair and
towards the kitchen, afraid something had happened to Kim. Shego
walked onto a sad sight.

Kim was standing in
the middle of the kitchen holding a wooden spoon as if it was some
sort of weapon, and was brandishing it at the dying food processor,
which was now on its last legs. It had somehow fallen from the
counter, spilled its contents all over their floor, cracked its
plastic container, and was still whirring on the ground. Shego shook
her head at the teen hero, walked over to the wall, and pulled out
the cord connected to the food processor, instantly stopping its cry
of agony.

So, the brave Kim
Possible. She saves the world from evil scientists, robots, and now
evil food processors. What next? Dryer sheets from Hell? Shego
asked, a smirk on her face. Kim glared and placed down her mighty
weapon, AKA the wooden spoon.

What happened,
Kimmie? Shego inquired. If she was going to buy a new food
processor, she had the right to know what had happened to the last
one.

WellI was
putting the lettuce into the food processor to cut it up. I was using
Pulse mode until I saw that I had to stay there and hold the button
down. So I thought I could just turn it to the ON setting and do
other things while it was being choppedit was going well until the
machine started whirring so much that it started moving itself from
its position.

Why didnt you
just grab it?

I didnt think
about it at the timeI was just trying to press the OFF buttonbut
it kept jumping out of the waythen it came towards me and I
freakedthen it fell and died. Kim said, her face turning into
her infamous puppy-dog-pout, a move that Shego had learned was one of
the most powerful forces on the planet.

Listen, you just
cut up lettucewith a knife. Ill clean up this mess. Shego
offered. Kim smiled, giving her love a hug and kiss.

Thanks, Shego!
The teen hero cried.

Ohand Kimmie?

Yeah, Shego?

Dont ever touch
my food processor again.

Deal!

Tiger: Just wanted to say that Im not sure if
the Cook Yourself Thin show has had an episode with tacosIve
only managed to catch a few of them. Wellthat was an interesting
ficlet to write. This situation sort of happened. You seemy little
brother wanted to use our food processor to cut up the lettuce for
our tacosmy mom said it was because he saw the Barefoot Contessa
lady from the Food Network do it and he wanted to try iteven
though he had never used a food processor before. So my mom shows him
how to use it and then lets him try. Well, my little brother, being
the idiot he is, doesnt hold it when it turns on, causing it to
jump all around the counter (literally, it was bouncing and moving)
until he pushed the off button. His face was absolutely priceless! He
just used the Pulse option for the rest of the time. I felt inspired
to write a one-shot about itdont know why. Thankfully, our food
processor is still alive andprocessing